Conformity
We were all brought up to see the world through the eyes of those around us, figuratively speaking. Till we reached a certain level of maturity, we realised how much we were “brain-washed”, never really seeing the world through our own eyes.
Conditioned to behave a certain way and follow a certain path that some believe would lead to stability, which may lead to happiness. At least that was the belief. Only to realise, it doesn’t work this way for everyone. We’re individuals with different hair, skin, eyes, height, even unique fingerprints, how could “one way” be “the way”?
Some of us are expected to become a certain way eventually, due to the lineage or area we grew up in, household income, skin colour, etc. Never really given a chance to explore and understand what we were destined for. From birth we were sort of boxed into a path chosen for us, it seems.
Sometimes we conform not because of our immediate surroundings, but by the media we consume. Mimicking or literally following those we consider more successful than us, living “the dream”. This is a type of conformity. It’s not an unhealthy practice, however there’s a limit to how far we should go. Losing ourselves in the mould of another, denies one’s needed self-discovery.
Finding Ourselves
Now, abandoning all that didn’t work for us as individuals is considered “finding yourself”. Ironic since we should’ve been finding ourselves from the very get-go, we should have been given the tools to do this from the start, rather than after we’ve already been conditioned to think and behave a certain way without realising it.
We must unlearn all that we’ve learned.
This is actually where our journey begins. The journey of discovering us. Our nature, our likes, our dislikes, our fears, our comforts, our crowd, our interests and more! Not just following what everyone does and what everyone likes or dislikes, etc. While some is necessary to mesh with society, it’s not recommended to deny yourself all your preferences just to fit in. Doing so may lead some of us to become irate or angered. Some become depressed or lost.
Standing Out
We then learn, that what we’ve been ridiculed, laughed at even taunted about, a simple unwarranted stare, the things that made us stood out from the crowd is actually what makes us who we are! It’s what defines us as an individual. Without these unique traits and features about ourselves, we would be like everyone else. Boring!
Yet, peer pressure, social constraints, expectations or otherwise, made some of us feel bad for being unique, being different, essentially being us! A dancer by nature who can’t stop moving is considered attention deficit. An artist who can’t stop drawing on everything is considered a vandalist (I fall in this category). One who doesn’t follow some arbitrary set of rules, a troublemaker and so on.
We’ve all experience this on some level. Some of us fall prey to these constraints and give in, unknowingly thinking it was the right thing to do, while some of us, like myself, try to adopt these behaviours only to realise it doesn’t work, it didn’t feel right. Like trying to wear tailored clothing not made for you.
Limited Time
Maturity comes when we realise what works for others doesn’t necessarily work the same way for us. Others may find joy in some things and appear to be gleefully pursuing them, however, that isn’t necessarily what will bring happiness to us. We also realise a lot of people are faking it. The sooner we realise this the sooner we find a little bit more of ourselves.
Our time on this earth is not unlimited. Some have shorter, some have longer, yet none of us have forever. So why waste it fitting into an arbitrary mould we don’t even know will work for us, until its too late? Don’t let sadness determine and overcome your beautiful life. Let go of some fears as much as you can.
Let the fear of knowing your time is limited here, drive you to discover yourself sooner and break free from the constraints you’ve acquired and accepted your entire life thus far. Be the best version of yourself and the truest form of yourself.
It’s easier said than done, however why would you deny yourself the adventure of discovering your innate nature in favour of living a life not meant for you? The future will become terribly uncertain once you head down this path and seem less attractive than what others have been portraying and promising. But it will be truer than anything you’ve ever known and experience.
An uncertain future may be scary at first, however when you’ve discovered your true nature it’s clearer than any moulded path unsuitable for you. However the feeling you get from achieving your true self is almost dizzying at times. You feel free, so light and at peace it’s almost unreal.
Trust the Universe
I personally have felt lost in the past, trying to fit into society since I’ve always been very different from those around me. I soon learned to accept my “flaws” or what I thought were flaws and break free from the expectations, and ideologies I’ve grown up with. It took time, years actually before I soon learned this. It was terribly scary, and at times I felt like going back to the “mould of society” and what was expected of me, however, I knew that life was not for me. Deep down inside I knew.
I kept at it despite the uncertainty and sometimes solitude, sometimes sad moments. I’ve lived no perfect life, however I’m at a point where I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. The future is more hopeful than it ever was and I’ve attracted all I’ve ever dreamed of so far.
I trusted the Universe and believed heavily in Karma! I kept at it constantly and developed, over-time, the will-power to continue along this path. Every time it became uncertain and it seemed like the floor would fall from under me, somehow a new platform presented itself. Thankfully I knew how to spot the signs and went forward without fear.
Realisation
So how did I realise all of this? I spent time alone, a lot. A lot more than others. Which is a form of meditation. My mind wasn’t my worst enemy anymore. I designed a life, though simple and unflattering, that I was happy and content with. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, however, it’s my cup of tea.
Through this I’ve attracted all the right people, vibrations and lifestyle even closer to me and an amazing thing unintentionally happened! Automatically, all the negative aspects and people who I thought were meant to be with me, kept falling away, one by one.
The process wasn’t the easiest, nor was it the most attractive, however through grinding and tumbling, I was able to smooth out my life and abandon all the ugly aspects that kept me from becoming my true me. With time and effort I believe if you put the same amount of energy into breaking free from the rules of your mind you’ve acquired over this lifetime you will find your true self and live the life you were meant to have.
The best is yet to come, and the journey only starts when you want it the most. So let’s get started shall we?
